2. Offseason Speculation and Grades for The Eagles and Sixers… GO PHILS

I was bored, swinging a golf club and a wiffle ball bat today for no reason at all. Clearly I miss football and basketball.

So as we cheer on the first place Phils let’s take a look at how the other teams are shaping up.

Sixers : B+

the short

The fanbase is praising Morey and rightfully so.

He did well. In fact, it’s easy to say that this is his best offseason yet and the best team since 2018.

The roster still feels unbalanced without a true power forward, but if Caleb Martin fills that last starting spot as the impact player he has been in the past the Sixers have a top 3 starting lineup in the NBA.

Toronto’s all-time leading scorer dancing on Drake’s grave

the Long

With who was available and with a secondary goal to hang onto assets, I think Paul George and DeRozan were probably the two best options available to fill that essential third option role.

Happy to have PG. He’s still explosive and his 3point shooting makes him THE best option for the Sixers. Both he and DeRozan can play serious defense, so you gotta love that as well.

But when I saw DeRozan at the Pop Out show, I really felt like he was our guy. That’s just some killer instinct right there. PG’s from Cali but I don’t think he was at the show. Was probably busy podcasting.

SIDE NOTE: Let us all remember the report that the Sixers were NOT interested in George anymore as a reminder what kind of sports reporting is still out there on a daily basis.

Andre Drummond is the best big get we could have asked for. I was shouting for him, Dwight Howard, and Boogie Cousins last offseason. Not having a rim protector on the court without Embiid has been a glaring weakness every game besides those we had with Drummond’s half season and Dwight Howard.

Starting to think Boogie is blackballed at this point. Can’t believe he hasn’t been in the NBA over the last several years while looking solid overseas. 7ft rim protector with a great feel for the offensive game and a chip on his shoulder. Ridiculous.

Caleb Martin and Eric Gordon are both high quality role player pickups. If Martin fills that final starter position with quality defense, top tier long range shooting, and timely rebounding, he’ll be a perfect fit. If he can continue to murder the Celtics in the playoffs, even better. Stealing him from Miami on a discount deal makes this even better.

Would love to see Gordon make some big shots and create for the second unit. He’ll also be a good replacement in the final starter position if need be. Darryl got his Rocket.

Still, I think I’d prefer a stretch four for defense & rebounding, rather than Martin, Oubre, and PG playing roulette with 2 through 4. But offensively… sheeshhhh — Maxey, Martin, PG, and Oubre around Embiid is a speedy and high percentage shooting offense and all four can handle the ball well.

Regardless, I’m excited. It’s already the best team since ‘18 with Ben Simmons, JJ Reddick, Jimmy Butler, Tobias Harris, and Embiid.

Precious Achiuwa is probably the best free agent available and he is now able to test free agency and go where he pleases because the Knicks didn’t qualify for a match offer new contract option. Keeping Nic Batum would’ve been ideal and might’ve been the solution to the final starting spot.

THE SECOND UNIT IS GUARD HEAVY:

• Kyle Lowry

• Eric Gordon

• Reggie Jackson

• Jarrad McCain

• Ricky Council IV

• Jeff Dowtin

The power forward is 6’6” in Kenyon Martin Jr. Although Bona is 6’10”, he’s a 2nd round pick rookie.

Jarrad McCain

This was not a deep draft by any expert opinion, but as far as what was available, it looks like the Sixers got themselves a tremendous prospect in Jarrad McCain.

Honestly, I think he’s going to be great.

We could all go without the TikTok antics but no one will give a damn if he produces. Hopefully he turns out to be another late first round gem, a la Maxey.

That’d be cool.

If McCain can light it up at a timely 35% range on that second line I’d be happy…. but imagine 40+%.

To The Poop Catchers

The most salient point I’d like to make — anybody who said we need to trade Embiid after that playoff is dumber than a bag of sand and is a poop catcher that catches the dook when it drops out of their butt and then places it in the water.

That NEEDED to be said.

Sure, it’s frustrating. His health is 100% unreliable. As a number one option in the playoffs it doesn’t look very good. But you don’t trade away a 7’2” rim protector who can drop 50 burgers like he runs a Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Yet, the man is still hungry. He was guarding Jalen Brunson at half court on one knee at the end of some of those games.

Idiots.

Another primetime perimeter ball handler will make for a tremendous difference by taking the load off of Embiid to create the play, which in turn will give him easier opportunities to finish a play, rather than taking on a double team every time he gets the ball mid range and in.

I honestly think we should play him for 40 games. Get off to a decent start. Get him a long ass All-Star break. Than let PG and Maxey cook up a bunch of game-winner biscuits on these bitches. Embiid comes back for the last 10 games healthy as an ox and as hungry as the Lion was the day he beat it up with his bare hands in Cameroon on his 13th birthday.

True story.

Woj reported it.

The Aside

The thing about The Process … is that it worked.

We had every opportunity to put together a championship squad. If we had Nostradamus at GM and Howie Roseman running the finance department, this would be our reality.

Maxey

Tatum

Mikal Bridges

Embiid

Me

Go ahead. Throw any schmuck you want at the other guard spot beside Maxey and it’s still a 60 win team. Play Ben Simmons forever stuck in the 4th quarter of the Hawks series in that spot and they still get rings.

But okay, if I must…

G - Jimmy Butler

But instead we were left with decision after decision that has left us in a permanent state of frustrating anger and “distant light in a dark tunnel” kind of optimism.

Maybe this is the year… we’ll see.

Eagles : A-

The Short

How we went into this offseason with this amount of talent, a quarterback on a massive deal, and still had a ton of cap is beyond me. Really, like, I don’t understand it. I’ll never spend the hour necessary to understand the basic concepts of the NFL salary cap, dead cap, luxury tax, etc. Leave that to the nerds.

I’m really hoping White ends up being my favorite signing… after an explosive Saquon of course.

The Long

Will we be able to swap some of that CB depth for another stud linebacker or another edge rusher?

And with the cap space available it begs the question, could we not have kept Reddick?

Could we not have brought back White and Edwards last year?

Will Bradberry play safety even though we already have two solidified starters in Blankenship and CGJ?

We’ve got a million DBs. Some of which still have significant promise from last year or the previous years. Kelee Ringo and Isaiah Rodgers being two of them. Let’s say the top 5 CBs are Slay, Mitchell, Ringo, Rodgers, DeJean. That would be the ideal scenario, which leaves Avonte Maddox, James Bradberry, Josh Jobe, and Eli Ricks all in the wind. Three of those four have proven themselves as capable players and even starters besides Bradberry’s previous season.

Cooper DeJean — We can already see him as an early success playing multiple positions as a do-it-all member of a Vic Fangio secondary. But you never know with rookies and all I’ll say is that the cards are stacked against him.

SIDE NOTE: I cannot believe we drafted a white RB immediately after picking up a white cornerback… at least we got Axeman Jr. after that.

Should things not pan out as we all hope they do in our little suburban hearts, we’re going to wish this was a LB or D-Linemen. The draft day video definitely added some pressure to a valuable pick going to a crowded secondary. To both Cooper and Howie.

We’ll see how the offensive and defensive coordinators fair, but I like that we went with a couple of solidified names. The in-house promotions didn’t quite get the job done.

There’s so much to be excited about for this coming season, but what makes me more nervous than anything is Hurts’s comment about the offense being 90% different.

It’s an insane number for any offense to flip that much and it had Shady McCoy and Emmanuel Acho in disbelief talking about the situation on ESPN.

It gets worse when you hear from Philly’s controversial, sketchy-at-best reporter, the Delco divorcee demon, the South Philly slick back that’s banned from the bank, the owner of Dre Beats in every single color — you know who I’m talking about — that the offense is only about 20% different.

This makes Hurts’s comment sound a little bit like a built-in excuse.

Unlike the Jalen Hurts we’ve come to know and love.

Lastly, speaking of the offense, we need a new set of plays for 4th and 1. Sure, keep the “Brotherly Shove” or the “Tush Push” in, but early in the year we should be looking for other solutions. Like a good NBA team, you play the young guys early and get them in rhythm so that they can actually contribute when it matters. The Tush Push failed later in the year and was not a guarantee at 4th and 1… inches, sure. This offense is too talented to rely so heavily on that car crash of a play damn near every time. And we shouldn’t be using it at all beyond 1. You also can’t guarantee it will be run the same without our Hall of Fame Center as its anchor.

Ideally, it’s only a 4th and inches play once a game.

PHILLIES : <3

This city loves this team. The chemistry, camaraderie, and characters that makeup the dugout have blended so well with this town. It would be a shame to see them collapse. Hopefully this skid is on the verge of completion and the new pickups bring some much needed juice to the bullpen and the outfield.

Not sure Hays is the outfield bat we’re searching for, but he looks good so far. Love the Estevez signing. He could be the closer solution and has proven himself as a consistent shutdown reliever. The Phillies also have a half decent history in dumping prospects.

FLYERS : ?

I don’t know shit about hockey, especially offseason hockey. There’s some buzz about this Russian kid, Matvei Michkov coming over after being a recent first round pick.

Michael Buffer announced this year’s pick so you know it was important — speedy center, Jett Luchanko… All-Time Great hockey name. Hope he pans out.

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