CONNECT & RESPECT: A High School Teacher’s Memo & A Friendly Reminder
Every now and then we forget that the other people who enter our lives have their own shit going on.
For all you know, that guy who cut you off in the morning commute is running late because his wife recently abandoned him and his kids were wreaking havoc this morning while he was trying to get them ready for school and one of them pissed on the stairs and he fell down them. Now he’s just trying to get to work on time so he’s not fired and his kids don’t have a set of stairs to piss on.
Or maybe he’s just an asshole driver.
Maybe that woman who cursed out the Starbucks barista over an extra half-ounce of oat milk is being tortured by her dickface boss who knows she’s crazy close to a promotion she’s been working years for and he can go full power trip and make her run all his little bullshit errands and overpile the work on her desk because she’d never at this point because she’s invested too much time and effort into this job.
Or maybe she’s just awful.
Or maybe both things are true and she deserves the shitty boss treatment.
Unless you know what somebody is dealing with, you don’t.
Treating others the way you wish to be treated extends into the thought of how wish people treated you while you were going through some shit.
Not saying to roll over and let people be shitty, but maybe consider that they’re being shitty for a reason.
To take the Golden Rule a little farther…
The UPenn Netter Center’s Youth Anti-Violence program’s student panel on teacher-student conflict resolution
The memo below is what I put together after spending about a month preparing for a student panel on improving teacher-student relations alongside the UPenn Netter Center’s Youth Anti-Violence program. For weeks prior to the big night and a week after, students and staff discussed problems and solutions to the problems that often arise in during the school day.
As far as creating a better teacher-student relationship, the tagline that revealed itself over time was CONNECT & RESPECT.
It’s a motto that you can take into just about any situation and relationship, even those small unfortunate interactions that we find ourselves in from time to time. Making an effort to understand the other person rather than only seeing how they wronged you will help deescalate most situations.
Unless you don’t want to deescalate the situation than go full fuck you and make sure they know how much of a shitbag they truly are.
Anyway, On & Up…
Here’s the memo that was sent to the rest of the staff on behalf of the students and staff involved:
In a month of preparation for last week’s student panel, the kids (and a few staff members) voiced their opinions on conflict resolution, bettering their education, accountability and much more.
Teacher-student conflict resolution was the jumping off point for this panel, which was put on by the Netter Center after-school Youth Anti-Violence group.
The overall theme that emerged from those involved was CONNECT & RESPECT.
Of the many students involved, some of the key takeaways included:
The students felt that sometimes we can be brick walls: “I’m the teacher, you’re the student, do as I say,” without hearing the student’s say.
They want teachers who teach and adults who act like adults, not like they’re a part of the student population.
They were outwardly frustrated with teachers gossiping amongst each other about the personal lives of their students.
They also want better communication and connection with those adults.
Beyond simple human interaction on having more personal chats when appropriate, they want more information/involvement on school practices, procedures, and programming.
Let them know we’re here for them, push them to be their best selves, but also know when to leave them alone.
In regards to their education / facility upgrades:
New classes / programming / activities / field trips
Renovated bathrooms
More incentive to learn and creativity in the classroom
Group projects, learning games, activities, classroom collaboration, etc.
Quick personal note: While trying to teach a full or even half full class of kids — whether they're engaged, disengaged, coming, going, or sleeping — it’s not always easy to live up to that Connect & Respect motto. Early in the year I was too short with the kids who rarely put any effort in. Recently I’ve probably been too lenient, letting them get away with more than usual because it’s not worth the drama to take away from the rest of the class, or my energy.
Long story short, this is nothing more than a friendly reminder that pulling a kid to the side, letting them know they’re heard, making them feel special, and holding them accountable can make a difference.
I'm sure we all have a similar success story with one student or another.
99% of them care. Even when they pretend they don’t.
Lastly I wanted to add that the kids consistently uttered kind words about Sayre as well. From teachers, to climate, to security, to the administration, they showed their appreciation and aired their grievances and considering the point of this entire panel, I felt inclined to share with you all.
Sincerely,
Mr. Chevalier
[ Chev ]
