BirdFeed & Beez: Modern Indulgence of Sex & Sexuality In the Internet Age
Album cover for Intercourse - Everything Is Pornography When You’ve Got An Imagination … bandcamp link
The 60s and 70s are decades well-known for the sexual revolution they spurned. Capped by the 1967 Summer of Love in San Francisco, the larger movement was a powerful social rebellion against the strict sexual and gender societal standards of the time.
In a way, the 10s and 20s have had a similar feel.
Bolstered by the internet and social media, all the kinks and quirks of sex and sexuality have been emboldened in a very open and available domain—an ostentatious display of what was once a very private conversation, which, for better and worse, has become more publicized and accepted than ever before.
The freedom to be one’s self in every single facet of life has caught up to a time in which shame is nearing exile—being able to express sexual orientation openly and honestly (awesome!), hyper-sexualization of just about everyone and everything (not really as awesome).
The major catalyst, the World Wide WEb
This is, in part, a byproduct of living in a time dominated by unmitigated access to content of all kinds. What it’s birthed is an overstimulated world of modern sex and sexuality—a world in which ass-kissing is now looked fondly and appreciatively upon, if only in the literal sense.
The early 21st century will surely go down as the ONLINE AGE in all aspects. An age of access and connection to everyone and to everything our demented little minds can drum up. At a moment’s notice, and right in the palms of our hands, we can pull up damn near anything—be it infinite titties, free collegiate-level classes, a former presidential candidate’s private emails, in-depth YouTube knitting tutorials on the Portuguese thumb-flicking technique (not a sexual innuendo), the latest and greatest music from up-and-coming Philadelphia artists, and entirely too many videos with “step-” in the title.
Who the hell is even searching that shit? It’s being oddly forced on us, fuckin’ weird.
The statistics
In 2022, most young adults have grown up with simple and rampant access to free internet porn from the moment the idea to browse first popped up in their pubescent (or pre-pubescent) minds to indulge.
On PornHub.com in 2019 alone, 39 billion searches were performed. That’s billion with a B. It’s the biggest porn site amongst dozens of other big sites. And that was BEFORE the pandemic. There was a hilarious spike right around March of 2020.
Listen to this guy talk about the difference between 1 Million and 1 BILLION
$179 million Picasso painting - Les Femmes d'Alger (Version "O"), 1955 - via Vanity Fair
Mental shift
If you experience something enough, especially something that, from the surface, doesn’t appear all that harmful and offers instant gratification (even if it’s followed by a quick bout with shameful depression), it’s going to trickle into your psyche and emotive behavior. This sentiment activates the old, absurd, “if children watch violent movies they’ll become violent themselves” argument that Quentin Tarantino strongly refutes, and to an extent, I agree with him.
Violent movies aren’t constantly being played by most. Their also movies. Sometimes based on a true story, but what we’re watching isn’t actually happening. They’re movies.
Porn, on the other hand, is a daily excursion for millions. Often multiple times in a day. And as strange as it can get, it’s actually happening… sure there’s acting, but there’s still a penis going in a vagina (or whatever the situation). And although Sly Stallone did dabble in porn very early in his career, he didn’t actually kill anybody in Rambo. We’re capable of binging Cannibal without salivating for human flesh because we know how fucked that is. We know porn isn’t the best thing to consume, but professional pornography, no matter how decadent or depraved, is (supposed to be) a consensual experience. Regrettable? For many, yes. But still, consensual and legal and it can bring forth wondrous amounts of pleasure for all the parties involved.
Hieronymus Bosch's "The Garden of Earthly Delights"
And So, Subconsciously….
That notion wiggles two things into our brains:
1. This is normal. 2. People want this.
Sure, many of these things that porn has introduced to our once sparkling with sunshine, wide, innocent eyeballs would likely have been acted out without it’s influence. Your basics—hair pulling, spanking, choking, a finger in the tush… even the standard concepts of BDSM would probably find their way into a lot of bedrooms without porn or outside conversation.
We’re deviant fucks, ya know?
But not everything.
Let’s double back on booty smoochin’ for a moment. It’s fascinating and objectively horrifying that porn production was actually behind the societal eight-ball on this hot and stinky trend. Sure, there were definitely some early adapters back in the day, but it certainly wasn’t mainstream until recently, especially in regard to the man being the rear recipient.
The loudest pop culture moment on the subject was here with Jhene Aiko’s epic line, “But he gotta eat the booty like groceries.”
Definitely not because of that line but this was the song that America fell in love with Jhene, or at least that’s when I did. (With respect to Big Sean and their growing family)
But awkwardly we march, onward and upward with hard-ons into gluttonous consumption of something so genetically unnatural it fucks with our naturally enhanced biology. Preemptively, porn has contributed to more limp dicks and unsatisfied sexual partners than just about any turn-off possibly could.
Why? Because the human brain was not wired to witness 500 pairs of titties a millisecond after typing the letter ‘p’ and letting auto-fill take the wheel. We’re degenerates. But, at this point, it’s so commonplace that it’s considered normal. Shamelessly, we watch and rewatch and find new things to fetishize that may have never even been a fantasy if it wasn’t recreated over and over in front of a camera for us to see.
The exemplary here being the infamous facial
It’s a top 3 finish in the world of porn. Bottom 3 finish in real life.
Sure, it’s an act that would happen without porn’s existence, but the number of times it actually happened and the number of people who fantasized about it with any semblance of consistency would be drastically lower. There’s no question. There’s no judgement here. We’re purely talking influence.
It’s a scientific fact that the number of facials per capita has increased in direct correlation with the number of free, publicly available videos with the infamous scene-ender.
The Conversation
Enough relationships, or at least situationships, have emerged from two people sharing similar views—political, geographical, whatever. In this case, it may be views of particularly categorized, but never advertised, videos, cut from the same musty cloth. Now that most people have the same unlocked video access to any imaginable sexual desire or curiosity, it’s not the craziest thing to discuss those things in public. Maybe these individuals are meeting purely for that discussion, or maybe it’s just friends laughing about the absurdity of it all.
Point being, sex has never been less taboo of a discussion than it is today in America
Egon Schiele's "Friendship"
I must mention that there is zero judgement herein.
This is not about condemning anyone. It’s about recognizing influence and impact of consumption.
And because we live in this all-accepting world, free of shame, in which hardcore porn is common knowledge, where shows like Euphoria, Girls, Shameless, Dave and so many more depict graphic sexual activity, where naked Instagram Influencers are making more money than many master degree recipients, we’ve created a society filled with sexual charges and fiscal motivation—most of which are weird and objectively hilarious, and some that can be harmful to ourselves and others. It’s a modern world with flawed sexual expectations and far-fetched kinks that likely only exist to push boundaries, have been removed from shame and welcomed into our daily media intake.
* * *
If it sounds like I’m preaching over here in France, know that I’m not. I’m chanting: RECOGNIZE. RECOGNIZE. RECOGNIZE.
Recognition and understanding. It’s important that we take a step back and see how the awesome powers of access in the Internet Age affects our private lives, both positively and negatively. We are inherently consumers and just because something is available and it’s normal to consume it, doesn’t mean we have to. If we do, it doesn’t have to influence us to the point it negatively affects our private lives.
Take the good, leave the bad. Sex can be incredible and it can be shallow. Kinky sex can be phenomenal and unnecessary. Real love and connection will always win out.
On and up, recognize and adapt.
With love and affection,
Enrí
xoxo
