Hide Ya Granny: Smokey Robinson’s Gyrating Into Town With New Hips And A new Album, “Gasms”

He’s got the Caribbean green eyes of a gasmic Leopard of Love

Those eyes, romantically trained on his prey, Smokey has played the most dangerous game with an entire generation of ladies. Those docile gazelle Seniors these days but it doesn’t mean this wholesome game of catch me if you can is over.

As he shimmies his newly replaced hips and wiggles his way into a powerful, trustful attack position, he doesn’t hide or seek camouflage, he positions himself in line with the excited eyes of his aroused crowd.

But your granny’s eyes lock onto Smokey’s through a sea of waving hands and sexual tension.

They lock eyes with one another. His gaze wanders deep into her big doe eyes, through her heart, and into her golden soul.

Her G-soul.

As Smokey touches her G-soul, he winks. The Green-Eyed, Gasmic’ Leopard of Love.

So beware ladies and gentlemen, Smokey Robinson is ON THE PROWL.

Remember, don’t hate the leopard, hate the poachers killing for profit and game—as the infamous saying goes.

‘Gasms’

It feels destined to be a mini classic. Another feather in the cap of his historic, impactful, and playful legacy. Motown’s finest.

The tour is off to a hot start (clearly) and my hat is forever off to the man who is still producing and creating with confidence and vigor.

When I’m his age, I want to poses a similar flame.

But the actual intention of the album is undeniably tongue and cheek:

“Gasms is anything that feels good,” Smokey said on CBS Sunday Morning, making the interviewer blush. I don’t know the relationship status of either of them but he had her in his back pocket.

Smokey Robinson is an all-time name and the man has all-time game.

So In case ya ain’t know, there’s a market for frisky older women, and it’s underserved, but just as he’s always done, Smokey is here to deliver the goods.

The man looks great for 83 and it appears he’s feeling even better.

He’s still writing and producing music, singing, touring regularly, and looking fly as ever doing it.

Even if you knew nothing about Motown and you never heard the name Smokey Robinson, on a multiple choice question of:

What’s this guy well-known for?

I think you’d still select C in a multiple choice question over my other projected answers:

A. Forrest Fire Prevention Bear

B. Champion Boxer

C. MoTown Legend

D. Rapper

They’d try to quick trick your brain with the early name association, but you’re smart and you know not to fall in love with the answer too quickly. You’d think:

Ooh yes, “MoTown Legend”and “Smokey Robinson” feels right… AND at “C” ... love it. They’re trying to pull me away with “D” being musically associated, but it’s a grasp.

Ok enough of that…

* No idea if Smokey really had a hip replacement — just in case you took that headline literally and you’re actually hiding your grannies in comfortable closets with a fresh bag of weather’s originals.

P.S. very quickly:

Top 5 Most Handsome BLACK GUYS WITH EYES That Were Lifted Straight out Of The CARIBBEAN Ocean… Pause.

Smokey Robinson

Michael Early

Mugshot Model Guy

Eric Allen

Coach Carter’s Son

Where’d I miss?